Dear Future Boyfriend,
This past weekend was my birthday. I spent a good part of the weekend trying to decide what I was going to spend my celebratory time doing. I wanted to do something fun, like going dancing, or nice and simple, like making a pretty cake, with friends. But my friends were all out of town, busy with other plans, or difficult to get a hold of. I eventually did coordinate things to do, and got presents from my darling flatmates (thanks chicas!), but the process gathering people and ideas was quite exhausting and very un-birthday like.
What I would have loved would have been for my friends, assisted by you of course, to have planned some sort of birthday adventure for me. Nothing too over the top- no need to book out a pub or anything like that- but something special that shows you remembered it was my birthday. Of course, for you to be able to do this, I would have needed to tell you that my birthday is coming. But I don’t like to draw undo attention to myself. I don’t want to be one of those obnoxious people who talks about my birthday everyday for a month before it happens. Who expects too much.
I work really hard to not be a burden with many things besides my birthday. There’s a concert I want to go to at the end of the year, but I can’t afford the tickets. So I secretly hope my parents or someone will get me tickets for Christmas, but I would never dare ask for them- its the sort of gift that would seem selfish to ask for. I don’t tell anyone when I’m upset, just wait for them to figure it out, and why. Its a perilous game I play. I don’t want to make a big deal out of myself or inconvenience anyone, and yet I want them to be able to intuitively know when a bigger deal than normal has to be made.
I would like to apologize in advance, because as my future boyfriend you are going to come up against this quite a bit. I’m going to want things from you, but if it doesn’t seem like a ‘big deal’ and will be an inconvenience to you I won’t ask, and then be unhappy later. But know that I will never resent you for not figuring out that I hate your friend Larry and actually don’t want to spend a weekend in a cabin with him and his not so bright girlfriend. I know its my own fault when I’m disappointed, because you’re not a mind reader. And if you are then this has gotten slightly awkward and we should move on; you don’t really need to know what I’m daydreaming about when Cillian Murphy is on the tv.
Love,
Meaghie